Des Moines woman suffers frostbite after getting ‘frozen turd’ stuck in her vagina

A 47-year old Des Moines woman is recovering in hospital after suffering severe frostbite after a sexual game went horribly wrong. According to reports by local media, the woman and her partner were trying out a practice known as an ‘Alaskan pipeline’, which involves freezing a length of faeces inside a condom and then using it for sexual pleasure.

According to Urban Dictionary, an ‘Alaskan pipeline’ would typically be inserted into a participant’s anus, but in this case the Des Moines woman opted to place it inside her vagina. Due to the extremely cold nature of the frozen faeces, it is believed that the soft tissue inside her vagina became affixed to the latex of the condom, preventing her from pulling it out herself. The woman’s partner rushed her to a clinic where it had to be surgically removed.

“The damage to the woman’s vagina is extensive, and she is now suffering from frostbite,” said one of the doctors who treated her. “Under no circumstances should anyone ever place a frozen object inside the genitals, particularly not a frozen condom filled with faeces.”

The doctor revealed the woman also faces a nervous wait to see if her wounds become infected, as the condom burst when it was being pulled out. “Unfortunately some of the faeces leaked inside her vagina, and despite our best efforts to remove it there could still be traces of fecal matter trapped inside.”

The woman’s partner spoke to the media to share their story in the hope it will serve as a warning to other couples who want to try and experiment with the unusual sexual practice.

“We read about the Alaskan pipeline online a few months ago, and it became something of an in-joke between us,” he said. “However, with the weather getting hot lately, my girlfriend said to me it might be something fun we could do to cool down.”

Urban Dictionary definition of Alaskan Pipeline: Noun: the act of pooping in to a condom, freezing the rubber overnight, then inserting it in to ones anus.

The man explained that he was reluctant at first, because it seemed ‘kinda gross’, but he relented after his girlfriend kept pestering him. “It was pretty difficult to get the turd into the condom,” he said, “but once it was in we just popped it in the freezer overnight and the next morning it was as hard as a rock.”

Authorities have warned people not to attempt an Alaskan pipeline or any other dangerous practice that they read about online. “We know there’s a lot of sick and depraved material available on the internet,” said one Des Moines official. “We would urge anyone considering such acts to think carefully about the risks before they try them at home.”